How Philosophy has Changed My Life

Dear readers, today marks the first article that I will be posting under the brand of A Man's Diary. I'd like to share with everyone, regardless of how widely read this article will be, on how learning more about philosophy has improved my life, and how it can improve yours as well. Without further ado, let's dive into it.

It was during my time in the army where I got serious about self-improvement. Perhaps seeing similarly aged people with so much more achievements than me was the final straw, and I sought to improve myself in three key aspects; physical, mental and spiritual.

Today, as the title of this post suggests, we'll be talking about the aspect of spirituality. Philosophy has been instrumental in my understanding of spirituality. While my knowledge of philosophy and the history of philosophy barely scratches the surface, I've read several books on philosophy and that has been enough to bring about some tangible changes in my life.

One of the books I couldn't recommend more highly is Jules Evan's 'Philosophy for Life: And Other Dangerous Situations'. This is a book which gives you an excellent primer into the philosophy of the Stoics, the Epicureans, and the Skeptics, among others. More importantly, what you learn reading this book can immediately be put into practice in everyday situations, and is not merely some abstract and theoretical philosophy.

However, instead of focusing and summarizing ideas from one particular book, my goal here is to share some wisdom that I've attained from reading several books within the genre of philosophy. These are the lessons which I've distilled, after finding recurring themes in books and also from personal experiences in my life.

1) Nothing good ever comes easy - Steve Jobs was ousted from Apple from his own board, as was Elon Musk from PayPal. Steve Jobs was estranged from his first daughter; he wasn't even invited to her graduation at Harvard. Elon Musk worked hundred hour workweeks back-to-back and was at several times teetering on bankruptcy during the early days of SpaceX.

In building up their empires, these two distinguished men have literally went through hell and back. I realize this in my own life; anything worth fighting for, be it a good job, a place at a good school, a partner that'll see you through thick and thin, a luxurious house, these are all things that take lots of effort to attain. The sooner you come to terms that it isn't going to be easy, the more you can focus your energies on actually making progress instead of complaining about the circumstances you were born to.

2) Realize what you're in control of and what you're not - Imagine yourself back in school, and a group of friends including you decided to hold a casual game of basketball after class. Two people who are considered to be the best among the group form opposing teams and start taking turns selecting who they want to be on their teams. Everyone seems to be getting picked, except you. You're starting to feel bad about yourself, as there are only three people left standing that hasn't been picked yet. Eventually, the third guy gets picked and it's down to you and another guy. The team captains play a game of rock-paper-scissors and decide that whoever loses gets you assigned to their team. This is a crushing example, isn't it?

In that moment, it is true that you aren't in control of which team you want to be in. It's also true that you aren't in control of what people think about your skill. Try as you might, your pride will take a beating in such a situation. But there is one thing you are in control of; your perception of this situation. Will this situation lead you to shun basketball for the rest of your life, or will you take this as the start of the long road to improvement?

The truth is, it is imperative to understand what we have control over, and what we don't. Just as important, we need to know when we're in control and when we're not, and when to take over control when we should be and when to let go when we shouldn't.

This concept of control is perhaps most beautifully phrased in the Serenity Prayer; God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

It's not called the Serenity Prayer for nothing. If you truly understand and live by this concept, you will find a peace in life that is unshakable. In truly trying times, you may still lose your serenity, but remember that after learning to live by this, this is your new baseline in life and once you are out of the source of aggravation, peace and calm will quickly fill you again. It is now your default state in life and is a source of immense power.

3) Have a higher purpose - What are we really here for? Think about this question long and hard. What are the beliefs that you truly hold dear in your heart about your own being? Is the existence of humans and our consciousness one of inevitability, or one of a series of long and purposeful actions? These are questions that have fascinated me since I was young, yet it's unlikely that I'll ever know the scientific answers to these questions within my lifetime, if we even manage to figure it out.

Yet, our beliefs are the single strongest force of nature in our lives. It permeates every part of our very being, from giving us our own unique perception of events, to dictating our behavior and even affecting our neurology. And it all starts with our beliefs. Our minds are like slab of marble and our beliefs are the forces that shape this slab of marble into our very own statue of David (or whatever suits your fancy).

Having a belief that you are destined to live out a certain purpose can be a very powerful thing, as it has been in my own personal experience. Being employed in an accounting firm, I sometimes had to work 70+ hours a week, and I sometimes had such weeks back-to-back. While these may be rookie numbers for investment bankers or lawyers, it was grueling enough for me. The something that helped me power through these 70-hour work weeks? Beliefs.

Why would I voluntarily put myself through such an experience, working these kind of hours when I could have elected to find a job with less overtime? Because I had a belief that working in an accounting firm was a better path to take for my career. Something I read from Simon Sinek's excellent book, Start With Why, marines from the United States Armed Forces often ask each other the question 'Why?' when the going gets tough. 'Why are you carrying 20kg worth of equipment on your back and crawling through mud on under four hours of sleep in the last 48 hours, when you could be sitting at home watching TV had you not signed up for the Marine Corps?' 'Because this will make me a better man. Because I want to put food on the table for my kids at home. Because this is my contribution to the country and to society. That's why.' In moments like these, where we are going through tough times in life, beliefs give us something to fall back on, a safety net where we can surrender our self-doubt and negativity to and just let our faith soldier on.

Like the Marines, having the belief that this was the right step for my career gave me the strength to power through those 70 hour work weeks.

Ultimately, philosophy can only do so much to alleviate you from your pain of working over 12 hours a day, or other difficulties that you may be facing in your life, but sometimes that is all you need to make it through. When I was at the breaking point from crazy demands being piled on me by my bosses and clients, the belief that all this hard work would lead me to a better life got me through the day, and prevented me from going into a total breakdown. These beliefs didn't lead me to having a pain free life, and it never will; that is not the purpose of having a belief (a life worth living isn't going to be easy anyway, refer to point one above), rather, we have a belief so vast that it allows us to take a step back and realize that any pain you're going through at the moment is insignificant, in the grand scheme of things.

 

 4) Life is simply better with gratitude - Let's start with a personal story to expound on this point. I wasn't the most grateful of persons for most of my life (and still ain't on bad days, but I'm working on it). I used to really blame my circumstances and resent it. Why didn't my family have the ability to send me overseas for college, which I really wanted to? I wanted to go to Australia and live out the life of a college student in a foreign country, with complete freedom and no supervision from parents or the like. I wanted to be exposed to a foreign culture for a good few years as I thought that it would've netted me social points ('Oh you studied in Australia? How interesting!') and loads of fun experiences (frat parties, drugs and other hedonistic pursuits, if I'm to be completely honest). To this day, I still think that being able to spend your college days in a foreign country is a great idea, but, back to the point that I'm trying to make here.

Being thankful for what you already have is sometimes really difficult. Human nature in itself makes us inclined to get used to the status quo, making us biologically wired to be constantly seeking for more and perhaps leading us to have had some evolutionary advantage. The exact science behind it, I don't know, but as mentioned, it can be insurmountably hard to overcome our biological programming.

What I can tell you is that it is worth overcoming that difficulty, because you will be a much happier person when you introduce some gratitude into your life. Little things make you happy, big things make you exuberant, and bad things affect you less, as you are thankful for what you have anyway.

Thus, gratitude is something everyone knows that they should practice more, but never really do so in practice. It's rare to find a person who is good at doing so anyway (or at least in my experience). What has worked for me in learning to be more grateful is really quite simple; find someone who you think is good at practicing gratitude in their lives, and mix around with them more. Also, starting with simple things is something that has allowed me to make headway. Opening my eyes everyday after waking up, I am thankful for the gift of sight. Where I'm from, the tap water is drinkable, and I am deeply grateful that such a basic aspect of life is freely and easily available in my country.

There is always something to be grateful for. Gratitude, as you will realize, is not easy at all, it can be pretty fucking difficult in fact, which is why we should learn from people who are able to be constantly grateful. When everyone has lost their minds and can no longer do anything but get flustered, you are the one who is able to stay calm and appreciative because you have the ability to be thankful.

Welcome to A Man's Diary!

Good evening readers. If you haven't already noticed, Hangouts of Singapore has as of today been rebranded to A Man's Diary. This will mark a change in the focus of topics I write on. Where Hangouts of Singapore previously focused on snippets of life in Singapore and the occasional rambling, you can expect to read a wide range of topics on A Man's Diary, ranging anywhere from philosophy to grooming, history to book recommendations and anything else in-between. All of these themes are unified by the ultimate focus however; that of self-improvement. I hope to share some of the lessons I have learned in my life as well as those that I've come across in books, blog entries and other sources.

Obviously, I hardly profess to be a leading authority on such matters. I myself am very much a work in progress, as shall be the case until I take my last living breath. I have however, accrued some knowledge over the last two years.

Two years ago, I changed jobs. Without diving into specifics, I went from a job which barely challenged me to one where I was constantly put out of my comfort zone. Intellectually, linguistically, physically, my new job challenges me much more than my previous one. During the span of these two years, I also vowed to read more books, spanning genres such as economics, philosophy, psychology, biographies, political science, self-help, business, and military strategy, among others. I have accrued some wisdom from these two years and it is my earnest wish to share them with whoever may benefit from it. That is the ultimate aim as well as the driving force behind A Man's Diary.

Another driving force behind setting up A Man's Diary has been the influence certain writers have had on my life; namely Tim Feriss, Ryan Holiday and Robert Greene. Of course, they're financially successful people, but it's also the level of wisdom, knowledge and being so well read that I admire about these three.

It is my sincere belief that part of the path to self-betterment lies in confronting the truth head-on. Therefore, I shall be absolutely forthcoming in my writings here. Do not expect me to sugar-coat words or be politically correct here. I say what is on my mind. If you are here for consolation, this may not be the best place for you.

Thus, let's all herald in a new age of A Man's Diary. It is a quest that every man should undertake; to discover his true potential in life by embarking on a journey of self-improvement. I shall see you again, dear readers, when my next article on the importance of journaling is out.

The Woes of Employment

It's been awhile. And I come bearing an update that perhaps is somewhat disappointing. In terms of progress made towards the goals I've set out in the previous post, I don't think I've been pushing myself as hard as I could. Those goals aren't exactly a walk in the park and I must embark on a new level of commitment if I am to achieve them in 2017. I'm not one to blame circumstances, or at least I try, but I would attribute much of it to the amount of hours I have had to put into work over the past two months.

I've just rewatched Apocalypto, a movie I first saw when I was in secondary school (oh, the pangs of nostalgia). I came to a realization; even if Apocalypto is not an accurate depiction of the Mayan era, life in the modern era (19th century onwards) has been so peaceful as compared to their era. I know I have it good, to be living in an era where pillage and plunder are no longer the order of the day, and that trade and commerce has largely replaced the need to perform a hostile takeover of opposing tribes around us in order to survive and proliferate. Still, having lived my entire life in this modern day society, one gets accustomed to it. Therein lies the purpose of today's ramblings.

I've been doing poorly at work of late, I'd say in terms of performance as well as my ability to cope. Of course, I understand that going through tough times are very much a matter of perspective; you can either go through it, and come out a stronger man or decide that this is simply not for you. I understand the growth mindset, but lately my thinking has been more in line with the latter. The implications with going through on this mindset can potentially be quite discouraging. Months of unemployment, a feeling of idleness and even hopelessness. These are just the mental effects of it, not to speak of the dwindling bank account I will see if I go through with this decision. Obviously then, a tough choice lies ahead.

It has been a very busy two months and I've had to set everything aside for work. I think it has impacted me negatively and of course, choosing to be unemployed is always a decision that shouldn't be taken lightly. When does one draw the line though? No doubt being meaningfully employed is very important, but still there must be limits for a person such that he will no longer tolerate being at workplace he wish he wasn't in. For me, I'm in the midst of deciding where that line is now.

But I need to get my expectations sorted out and get them checked against reality. If I were to go ahead and choose unemployment, I need to be ready for a sense of idleness while seeking new employment which I think can potentially be discouraging and damaging to my mentality, bank account and career. I'm ready to combat that idleness and the mental effects by taking up temporary employment as well as volunteer work, but I can't speak for the situation regarding careers. I won't know how long it'll take me to find new employment and therein lies the biggest factor of uncertainty in this choice. I know what I must do then.. That'll be all for today.

The New Chapter

I have been liberated, from two months of living under fear, worry and despair. And I feel alive. I can finally carry on with my life and work towards all the goals that I hold in 2017 and beyond. There are basically three main aspects with which I seek to make improvements in, they being physical, mental and spiritual.

Physically, I hope to hit these records within 2017. 2.5x bodyweight deadlift, 0.5x weighted pullups, 0.7x weighted dips, achieve a handstand as well as being able to do my first handstand push-up. These are all very lofty goals, no doubt. But I think with a methodical and systematic approach, these goals are actually realistic. I will definitely come back at the end of 2017 we will come back to review how many of these we have achieved.

On the mental front, I would like to get more well read. I came across this list which I think is very much in line with the direction I would like my life to head in. I'm hoping to be 50% done with this list by the end of 2017. Even before this list, I have already been making an effort to introduce more books and reading to my life from about a year ago. Some genres of books that I'm preferential towards have been in the fields of psychology, economics, neuroscience for the layperson, biographies of people I admire as well as politics and philosophy.

Spiritually, I'd like to make strides in distilling my life's philosophy and that means making progress with asking the right questions that drives behavior to improve my life, as well as to be more in touch with my inner self. I see myself doing this by practicing more mindfulness and meditation, as well as reading more philosophical works which ties in with the reading aspect as mentioned above.

It's going to be a busy year indeed, I've got my work cut out for me. And that is exactly how I like it, getting better everyday and doing the things necessary to realize the best version of myself. With that, peace out and have a good day everyone.

Musings on the Year So Far

So far, I've written two drafts of what I hope to achieve in 2017 but they have remained as just that; drafts. This is understandably not the best way to start 2017, but we're not here to discuss that matter today. Rather, we will be taking a look on the month and a half that has passed since the start of the year.

Unbelievably, it is already the second month into this faithful year. And that marks a year since I've started with my second employer. Already, the mind is waning in its willingness to stay on here. Little shall be shared here as the walls have ears.

I've been doing some reading of late, trying to learn from men whom I like to consider accomplished men, but in doing so realize that I do not read very critically. Rather, I read every book much like I read story books, which cannot be the case when you're reading political treatises such as The Prince (Niccolo Machiavelli) or The Art of War (Sun Tzu). Significant amounts of effort must be put into interpreting what the author meant in that specific context, which means having to brush up on your history during their era in order to understand exactly what they were referring to, as well as getting the principle behind it and then applying it to a contemporary context. I'm hoping that all these efforts will allow me some of the wisdom and insight that these men have shown, something that I'm in admiration of. I always admire people of great stature, especially when they came from thousands of years back and did not possess creature comforts that we today have, such as being able to bath daily and having all the engineering infrastructure that we take for granted today.

Another thing, I hope to fulfill greater traveling ambitions this year. I reflect back on my Sydney and Italy trip with fond memories. I am most willing to admit that I am not well traveled and I wish I had the luxury of taking long road trips across Europe, Australia and USA before I stepped out into the working world but I simply haven't. That's OK though, I have my life ahead of me to do so and I think more importantly, have grown a profound appreciation for travel by my lack of means in earlier years.

I'm also very glad to have had the courage to face up to what I really needed to do recently. This is personal enough that it shall be kept off the books (or the web, for that matter), but basically what happened is that I mustered up the courage to get a certain act done, and can now move on ahead with life whatever the outcome may be, instead of having it constantly on the back of my mind, where it was taking precious mental faculty.

Through the year, there are a couple of things I wish to accomplish as well. I'm not the most open of people, especially when it comes to taking initiative in opening up and starting social interactions. 2017 is the year where I seek to really make strides in this area, being able to initialize social interactions at ease and be open, sincere, authentic and deep in my relationships with just about anyone which I come into contact with. Of course, that is the end goal, and I always believe in doing things in a progressive manner, and not  一步登天, as we like to say in Chinese. Literally translated, it means to ascend to heaven in one step. These goals are never realistic and only serve to beat up your own self worth when you realize it's impossible.

It's also that stage in life where everyone of my age seems to be proposing and marrying, some even having their firstborn already and whatnot. All while I'm just sitting here in my Fortress of Solitude, reading, philosophizing and mellowing into what I hope will be a fine wine. Ultimately, as I take on all these efforts to read, to get fitter and to improve in the three aspects daily (mentally, physically and spiritually) so that I am more able self-validate, a certain part of me wonders if I self-validate because that's exactly what society likes; the strong, independent, self-validating type? Therefore, isn't this an exercise entirely contradictory of itself? While these are questions that I contemplate with, I can feel the positive difference that my efforts in the three areas have brought to my life, and will therefore keep carrying on regardless of the answer to that question.

That will be all for today, thank you for reading.