The Woes of Employment

It's been awhile. And I come bearing an update that perhaps is somewhat disappointing. In terms of progress made towards the goals I've set out in the previous post, I don't think I've been pushing myself as hard as I could. Those goals aren't exactly a walk in the park and I must embark on a new level of commitment if I am to achieve them in 2017. I'm not one to blame circumstances, or at least I try, but I would attribute much of it to the amount of hours I have had to put into work over the past two months.

I've just rewatched Apocalypto, a movie I first saw when I was in secondary school (oh, the pangs of nostalgia). I came to a realization; even if Apocalypto is not an accurate depiction of the Mayan era, life in the modern era (19th century onwards) has been so peaceful as compared to their era. I know I have it good, to be living in an era where pillage and plunder are no longer the order of the day, and that trade and commerce has largely replaced the need to perform a hostile takeover of opposing tribes around us in order to survive and proliferate. Still, having lived my entire life in this modern day society, one gets accustomed to it. Therein lies the purpose of today's ramblings.

I've been doing poorly at work of late, I'd say in terms of performance as well as my ability to cope. Of course, I understand that going through tough times are very much a matter of perspective; you can either go through it, and come out a stronger man or decide that this is simply not for you. I understand the growth mindset, but lately my thinking has been more in line with the latter. The implications with going through on this mindset can potentially be quite discouraging. Months of unemployment, a feeling of idleness and even hopelessness. These are just the mental effects of it, not to speak of the dwindling bank account I will see if I go through with this decision. Obviously then, a tough choice lies ahead.

It has been a very busy two months and I've had to set everything aside for work. I think it has impacted me negatively and of course, choosing to be unemployed is always a decision that shouldn't be taken lightly. When does one draw the line though? No doubt being meaningfully employed is very important, but still there must be limits for a person such that he will no longer tolerate being at workplace he wish he wasn't in. For me, I'm in the midst of deciding where that line is now.

But I need to get my expectations sorted out and get them checked against reality. If I were to go ahead and choose unemployment, I need to be ready for a sense of idleness while seeking new employment which I think can potentially be discouraging and damaging to my mentality, bank account and career. I'm ready to combat that idleness and the mental effects by taking up temporary employment as well as volunteer work, but I can't speak for the situation regarding careers. I won't know how long it'll take me to find new employment and therein lies the biggest factor of uncertainty in this choice. I know what I must do then.. That'll be all for today.